It took a long time for your father to finally come around and realize the value in assisted living. He was determined to support himself, living alone, as long as he could. However, he was lonely, couldn’t drive anymore, and his friends simply didn’t have the ability to visit with him. After a while, he began to actually look at the brochures and other information you provided for him one afternoon.
A few months later, he finally asked to visit a facility.
You took your father on a tour of a local assisted living community. He was surprised to realize some of his friends from many years ago were living there. They all talked about how great it was, the wonderful activities and entertainment, and the camaraderie they had with so many other seniors facing similar challenges in life.
Right then and there your father decided that assisted living was perfect for him.
So why is he not getting the most out of it?
It seems that your father is simply sitting around his room. You’ve visited him often, called every single day, especially during those first few days and weeks after he moved in. You were concerned about him and just wanted to check in with him, but as the days turned into weeks and it’s now moving beyond a month, it seems he doesn’t know what’s going on, hasn’t really taken part in any of those activities, and has barely gotten down to the dining facility.
What is he doing?
The important question to ask him at the moment is what he’s doing in his room. Some seniors will simply sit around in their room because they are extremely shy and withdrawn. They might have extreme difficulty meeting new people.
Maybe that’s not your father, so you need to understand what is causing him to remain in his room. It could be that he’s waiting for your call, expecting you might visit soon, and doesn’t want to miss those opportunities.
This happens far too often when loved ones are concerned about an aging parent or grandparent moving into assisted living for the first time.
They call or visit far too frequently and that causes the senior to prefer waiting by the phone or their room, just in case.
It’s time to encourage your father to get out and explore. Set a prearranged time when you will stop by for a visit or call. It’s best to call early in the morning or later in the evening, which will give him the opportunity to get out and explore and see all of the benefits assisted living truly offers.
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