Trying to convince aging parents that assisted living is a great option to consider can often feel like trying to herd cats. Anyone who has had cats in the past understands how quick and independent they are. They certainly have no desire to be controlled or even contained. It’s difficult not just getting one into a cat carrier to go to the vet, let alone trying to get 10 or 20 of them into a pen.
For elderly men and women, especially when they have been married for decades, the idea of change is not always easy to accept. They understand they’re getting older, things are getting more challenging, and new health issues are arising, but for the most part they have been able to manage things well enough. Perhaps the call on an adult child, neighbor, or friend for help with something around the house, that’s a rare occasion.
Lately, though, perhaps your mother has been showing signs of weakness.
She might have had a mild stroke, major surgery, or cancer she fought recently. Whatever it was, she’s been requiring more and more assistance each day. You’ve noticed it starting to take a toll on your father. He is also growing weaker, and as they move through their 70s and head toward 80, you see the signs, the writing on the wall, so to speak.
You worry about their safety.
So, you’ve talked about assisted living. Your mother is open to the idea, mostly because she knows quite a bit more about it than your father. Perhaps she had a sibling or friend who moved into an assisted living community in the area. She may have visited this person frequently and realized how beneficial it was for people who had difficulty on their own.
However, right now your father is not ready for that move.
He doesn’t want to consider assisted living, even though your mother is ready to make a move. What happens now? They don’t really want to split up, and if they stay where they are you worry about their safety, both of them. In some situations, it may be beneficial for one spouse to move into the facility right down the road from the other as a way to segue both into this living environment.
Once your father sees your mother enjoying life, staying active, and getting the right support, and the more he begins to realize how challenging it is on his own, with or without her, he might come around to seeing the benefits your mother already knows about.
If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living in Daphne, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.
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