Learning to ‘Let Go’ Is Sometimes an Important Part of Aging Parents Getting More Comfortable in an Assisted Living Community

December 11, 2018 by ·


Seeing your mother or father, or both, getting older is never going to be easy. When we’re children, we often look up to our parents and assume they’re strong and are always going to be around. Then something happens. Age gets the best of them, as it does to all of us. Maybe before you realized it you noticed them having difficulty at home. Perhaps that’s when you first recommended assisted living.

This elderly parent may have been lukewarm to the idea, at first.

Assisted Living in Saraland AL: Learning to Let Go
Assisted Living in Saraland AL: Learning to Let Go

It could have taken several days, weeks, or even months to help them see that assisted living would be a great option for them moving forward. Since they finally opened up to this, agreed to go on a tour, loved the particular assisted living facility you both went to visit, and discovered there were wonderful activities they could enjoy on a daily basis, you felt relief.

Now, though, the time has come and they recently moved in. You’re visiting almost every day. Perhaps you don’t live close enough to make a visit every day, but you’ve gotten into the habit of calling to check on them in the morning and then maybe in the afternoon or evening.

Is this a good thing?

Often, we assume making contact with our aging parents, grandparents, and others whom we care about who have recently moved into an assisted living community is a great idea. It is, certainly, but there are limits.

If you are calling at basically the same time every morning and possibly again in the evening, what is your elderly mother or father or other senior doing at that time? Many of these seniors end up waiting around for the phone to ring or for the visit to arrive.

They might be missing out on wonderful opportunities to spend time with new friends, take part in various activities, or even enjoy some of the entertainment being provided at the facility.

Sometimes, it’s better to let go, to some degree.

Limiting the number of phone calls or visitations, at least during the first few weeks could give that senior the opportunity he or she might not otherwise take to force himself out and get to meet other seniors. The rest of the day they may be more than anxious to visit with other seniors, but when they have somebody they truly care about and love calling, they might miss incredible opportunities to establish themselves in this new home environment.

If you or an aging loved one are considering assisted living in Saraland, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017.

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About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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