Just Because You May Feel Relieved Mom’s Moving to Assisted Living Doesn’t Mean You Gave Up

October 20, 2020 by ·

Life as a family caregiver can feel overwhelming. Even if you have been more than willing to help wherever you can, the moment you begin taking care of an aging parent, grandparent, or somebody else you love who is of advancing years, you give up more and more of your life and time. 

It is an act of love. Yet, it is also extremely stressful. It can be frustrating, heart wrenching, and create tremendous friction and tension between you and this aging senior. 

Assisted living truly is a wonderful option for seniors as they get older. When they get overwhelmed with the daily rigors of maintaining their home, cooking their own meals, and struggle just to get through each day, considering an assisted living facility may offer some hope. 

 

Many family caregivers avoid this out of a sense of guilt.

Assisted Living Theodore, Al: Moving to Assisted Living

They avoid talking about assisted living because they don’t want their loved one thinking they gave up on them. It’s an easy emotion to carry, but just because your elderly mother may be moving into an assisted living facility now doesn’t mean you gave up on her. 

Everyone has their limits. You need to understand and accept this. If you keep pushing yourself beyond yours — whether it’s time, energy, physical ability, etc. — it’s going to directly impact your health and well-being. 

For most people, the last thing they want is for an adult child, friend, or other loved one suffering on account of them. 

Your mother may be nervous, a bit reluctant, or fearful about making this transition to assisted living, but those are normal emotions. It’s like being homesick when you first went away from home as a child, either to camp, to school, or to your new life as an adult. 

Moving is one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s natural for people to have second thoughts, doubts, and fears. Just because your mother may be expressing some of these emotions doesn’t mean you have to feel guilty. 

 

You have done a wonderful thing. 

By simply suggesting assisted living to her, you have given her a future of hope, an improved quality of life, and an opportunity to reconnect with other seniors her age, possibly even friends she hasn’t seen or talked to in years. 

Depending on the facility, she may also discover some wonderful activities, hobbies, and other areas of interest she thought weren’t possible any longer. 

Try to avoid feeling guilty; it is okay to feel relieved. Your mother will be doing great in her new assisted living home. 

 

If you or an aging loved one are considering Assisted Living near Theodore, AL, contact Ashbury Manor Specialty Care and Assisted Living at 251-317-3017. 

Filed Under: Assisted Living, Assisted Living in Theodore AL · Tagged: ,
About Cindy Johnson

Ashbury Manor’s Administrator since 2008, Cindy Johnson is a long-time expert in the assisted living field. Prior to her arrival at Ashbury Manor, Cindy managed acquisitions and crisis management for existing and new larger senior care project developments for eleven years. As regional manager for an Oregon-based assisted living management company, Cindy was directly responsible for operations for five 50-65 bed assisted living facilities. As manager during the transition to new ownership, Cindy reorganized internal operations and conducted leadership training for Executive Directors. As a result of her management and expertise, one of the company’s facilities (in Ocala, Florida) received a deficiency-free survey, resulting in the lifting of a moratorium on operation.

A nurse for 36 years, senior care has always been Cindy’s passion. Desiring to work more closely with residents, Cindy became a Category II Administrator in 2005. As Ashbury Manor’s Administrator, Cindy understands the complexities associated with dementia and cognitive impairment and she has fallen in love with seniors with dementia or cognitive impairment and their families.

Cindy is Treasurer of the local “Senior Coalition” chapter. She enjoys mentoring new candidates who want to become administrators.

As a 16-bed facility, with Cindy's training and experience, our residents and their families can be sure Ashbury Manor’s carefully selected staff provides the expertise of a larger facility while maintaining the individualized personal care of a small special needs home.
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