Your mother isn’t the most enthusiastic person for most things in life. When it comes to an upcoming transition to assisted living, maybe she’s even less enthusiastic. You want her to be excited about this, but did you know that moving is one of the top stressors in life? That’s under the best of circumstances.
When a family is moving out of a rat-infested apartment to a gorgeous home, their first real house as a family, that’s an exciting time. It’s also an incredibly stressful time. For a senior transitioning from living independently and in their own home to assisted living, it’s a different story. It’s still stressful, but she might not see it as something to get all excited about.
People who choose assisted living do so because they either don’t want to deal with the headaches and hassles of maintaining a home or apartment by themselves, are tired of living alone, or have reached a point where activities of daily living are just too much and they worry about their safety living alone.
If your mom has decided on assisted living, but you wish she was more excited about it, there are a few things you might consider doing that could help.
Ask Questions
You might have a great relationship with your mother and you talk about everything. Maybe you to share every detail about your personal lives. That’s a wonderful way to live, but she might not be giving you all the inside information about her thoughts on this upcoming move.
Maybe she thinks you will be disappointed to learn this isn’t really what she wants. Perhaps she wanted to move in with you, but that wasn’t practical for one reason or another.
When you ask her questions about the upcoming move, you can determine where she is mentally and emotionally and perhaps discover there are some things that concern her about it, things you can work out together.
Talk About the Community
The only way you can effectively do this is to learn about it. The best way to learn about it is to take a tour, speak to an administrator, and get the details about what types of activities, dining facilities, fitness center, and more she’ll have access to.
When you start talking about the specifics of her assisted living community, she may start to realize there’s a lot to look forward to.
Listen to Concerns, Doubts, Complaints, and Fears
Too often we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life that we forget to slow down and listen, even to the people we love the most. Maybe your mother has been voicing concerns or frustrations and you’ve heard them on the surface. Have you really taken the time to listen?
When you listen to her concerns, don’t try to argue against them, but instead just let her talk about them, you can get to the bottom of them more effectively.
Talk About Home Memories
Whether it’s photo albums, trinkets, mementos, pictures on the wall, and other items, help her go through these. They can bring a lot of laughter and joy and help her realize she’s lived a good life in this place and is ready for the next chapter to begin.
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