November is National Family Caregivers Month and if that describes you, a family caregiver, you probably already understand stress and anxiety. You might be looking after your spouse of many, many years. It might be your elderly mother or father. It could be a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or maybe even a sibling.
If the person you are supporting and have been caring for during the past several months or even years is considered elderly (at least over 55), assisted living is one of the best elder care options to discuss.
This doesn’t mean you don’t care about them any longer.
This is one of the biggest hurdles people have when discussing this elder care option with an aging parent or other loved one; they don’t want people to think they no longer care.
Your dedication and devotion to this individual for however many months or years should already be evidence enough of just how much you do care. However, you have your limitations. Everyone does.
Family caregivers often get overwhelmed and burned out supporting people they truly and genuinely love. At first, they could never imagine reaching the point of burnout. That prospect never crosses their mind. They simply see a need and they want to fill it.
You wanted to be there for this individual who requires some type of extra care and support. And you stepped up. You may have lived only a couple of roads down, perhaps a few miles away, or in the next town, so it made sense that you were there for them. Maybe you share the same house.
No matter how close you live to this person, how close you are relationally, how great an emotional connection you have had with them throughout most of your life, that doesn’t mean you won’t get stressed and pressured.
What are the risks in getting burned out?
A lot of family caregivers reach a point when they are completely burned out. That means they may avoid going over to this senior’s house one afternoon, calling to say they got held up or they just can’t make it that day.
Or they could have a short fuse, a short temper and begin snapping at the senior, their spouse, their children, strangers, coworkers, and so forth. There are many risk factors associated with getting burned out when doing something.
Most of the time, a person will lose focus and won’t care enough about what they are doing, but that senior needs somebody who is dedicated and still ready to serve at a moment’s notice.
If you have reached the point where you know you are burned out, that does not mean you no longer care. It just means you’re human. Being human, you should discuss the prospect of home care assistance.
Hiring home care assistance, especially through an agency, will not be an admission of failure or that you don’t love this individual. It simply means you know your limitations and you want what’s best for him or her as well as yourself.
Look into home care and, when you learn more about it, sit down to discuss it with this aging person in your life.
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