It’s absolutely essential that we support our family and friends, especially when they’re dealing with difficult circumstances in life. If your elderly father is planning a move to assisted living, it’s a great decision. However, he might be having second thoughts, apprehensions, or concerns.
Below are three ways that you can positively support him in this endeavor.
Remember, just because something is the right thing to do doesn’t always make it easy. In fact, many people experience homesick feelings, anxiety and stress, doubts, and so much more when they’re making a significant move in their life. Moving is one of the top three stressors in life, so be aware of what your aging father could be facing emotionally as well as mentally and make sure you provide him the right, positive support he needs during this potentially difficult transition.
First, let him know you’re there.
Just because you’re calling every couple of days or stop by once in a while to check in on him doesn’t necessarily mean you are ‘there’ for this transition. He may have felt pressured to make this decision or as though you and possibly others in his family just weren’t listening to his concerns, questions, or opinions.
Take the time to listen, acknowledge his concerns, and pay attention. When a person realizes others are actually listening to them rather than simply dismissing them, it makes a world of difference.
Second, talk about quality of life improvements.
Your father has made the decision to move into assisted living, but that doesn’t mean he is a willing participant or excited about the prospect. Discuss things he can no longer do, activities, time with friends he’s missing out on, and a number of other things. When he focuses on quality of life and realizes this can improve dramatically at assisted living, he will be more encouraged and enthusiastic about the prospect.
Finally, call and answer the phone when he needs you to.
He might not need to talk to you every day and it’s definitely not a good idea to call numerous times throughout the day once your father moves into this assisted living facility (because he might end up waiting around for your call rather than exploring his new community and making friends), but if a week or more goes by between calls or a visit, he could feel abandoned.
If he calls, speak to him. If he doesn’t, reach out to him. This provides an emotional safety net of sorts and can make these transitions more fluid and comfortable.
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